Self-love seems like the new buzz word and is a popular concept lately. Well… I’m still in the process of understanding and learning new ways to love myself. I truly thought that I loved myself deeply because I bought myself stuff and went out to good places. I stood up for myself. I was brave and courageous. Little did I know that it was not equal to self-love. I was in survival mode proving to myself that I could have everything and take care of myself mainly because of my childhood insecurities and experiences.

How did I know that I needed to love myself more? Unknowingly…When I started with therapy…I realised I didn’t know, understand and accept myself, hence I couldn’t love myself.

I judged myself.

I stressed myself out when I made mistakes.

I abused alcohol and tobacco.

I didn’t trust myself.

I didn’t put myself first.

I wasn’t kind to myself.

I wasn’t compassionate to myself

I was critical of my appearance and body.

I couldn’t spend time with myself alone.

And I was harsh on myself.

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I am still going through a process that to me seems ongoing. However, this is my current understanding of self-love. And there are things I add and change as I go.

Self-love is when I make myself comfortable.

Self-love is listening to my true voice.

Self- love is following my heart.

Self- love is when I soothe myself during tough times.

Self-love is paying attention to my emotions.

Self-love is giving myself space to feel.

Self-love is taking care of my body.

Self-love is breaking my patterns.

Self-love is learning from my mistakes and being kind to myself when I make them.

Self-love is being willing to forgive myself.

Self-love is letting go of resentment.

Self-love is being compassionate towards myself.

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I encourage you can make a list for yourself too that is personal and meaningful.

I am still in the process of learning to love and be compassionate towards myself and my past. This process is an ongoing journey and I am willing to constantly move in the direction of love and compassion towards myself and others. I have slacked many times and I have slipped into old patterns temporarily, but I get back quicker and definitely learn through the process.

I believe that when we are truly loving and compassionate towards ourselves, we can genuinely and authentically be loving and compassionate towards others as well. Making our world a better and safer place for all of us.

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